28 January

'How can you tell which kid on the playground is the child of the trombonist?'
He/She can't swing and doesn't know how to use the slide!

Firstly I want to tell you that the forum is up and running, so sign up and express yourselves! Two new things to the shop. I hope to have the instrument hire package up and running as soon as possible. A few people have already enquired, please contact the shop if you too are interested. As soon as I have sorted the legal stuff and pricing I will let you know. Secondly, I am now selling the 'Soundwear' gigbags. Many musicians pay a fortune for top quality instruments, then transport them about in a sub-standard case/bags. Visit their webpage (links page) or the shop to see how much extra protection you get.

23 January

‘You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him’.

Second Chance is a Portsmouth based national charity, which uses angling as a life line for children who have either been abused, have learning difficulties or are from poverty stricken backgrounds.

The charity was founded in 1984 and grew from the work of the founder and fellow trombonist (player and collector) Doug Hulme. Uniquely the youngsters are taken fishing and this popular leisure time activity is used to establish links between the youngsters and the volunteer adults, and to give children a sense of achievement, confidence and a social understanding. Second Chance uses this ‘new found’ confidence to then identify the child’s needs and put together a package of support.

99% of you who read this would assume that they have had, or at least are entitled to, support from the National Lottery Charities and Good Causes Fund. Unfortunately 99% of you would be wrong! Although they have applied, their requests have been unsuccessful. To offer any type of support or assistance please contact the shop or visit their web page (Links Page).

Second Chance - ‘changing the world… one child at a time’.

21 January

'While proudly showing off his new flat to friends, a music college student led the way into his den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is a talking clock," the student replied. "How's it work?" the friend asked. "Watch," the music student said, and then proceeded to give the gong an ear-shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "KNOCK IT OFF, YOU IDIOT! IT'S 2 A.M!"

Just need to tell you all that the shop will be closed on: Tuesday 25th January in the afternoon. Also from 4pm on Sunday February 20th to 10am on the Friday 25th.

16 January

‘How are trumpets like pirates?’
They are both murder on the high C’s!
The British Trombone Society promotes the trombone and its repertoire in all musical styles, keeping trombonists in touch with worldwide developments and information. Members gain free or nominal charge entry to all BTS events, with the chance to meet, listen and learn from the greatest players and teachers from home and abroad. Why not join us? Contact the shop for an application form or go to the links page and visit their web page.

15 January

‘What is a burning oboe good for?’
Setting a bassoon on fire!
Congratulations to Steph Pryer who was the first person to receive a new instrument purchased from the shop. Bought before Christmas by partner Rich Harvey (who has just been appointed Director of Music of the Southampton Concert Wind Band), she is now the proud owner of a Trevor J. James Pro Tenor Saxophone. It was kept until the big day and had to be encouraged to look inside what she thought was a new case for her Alto sax! Steph is teaching saxophone and flute, I have her card in the shop if you need it.
Trevor J. James are making some fine instruments and are our most popular selling saxophone.

14 January

‘Two guys are standing on the pavement when a taxi pulls up. One is holding a saxophone, and the other is carrying a trumpet. Who is the professional musician?’
The taxi driver!

In a shop concentrating solely on instruments and accessories from the brass & woodwind family you would expect to find a larger than normal selection of products available on the market. I agree. Although it takes time to develop a new business I am confident that we can already satisfy your requirements. It is our policy thou not to just sell you anything, but to take all considerations in to account and to match you with what is right. We have confidence in all makes and models of instruments that we can either order or that we hold in stock and refuse to sell certain less reputable makes.

13 January

‘What do oboists and Mike Tyson have in common?’
They are both hard on the ears! – Sorry all you oboists, we love you really.
The Assisted Instrument Purchase Scheme (AIPS) enables pupils having music lessons at LEA-maintained schools to purchase musical instruments without paying VAT.
Should your school or LEA finance function require more information on the scheme, this can be obtained from VAT notice 701/30 Education and Vocational Training (January2002).

12 January

When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple of days later, the town drunk (probably a bass player) was walking through the cemetery and heard a strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the vicar to come and listen to. The vicar bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognisable music coming from it. Frightened, the vicar ran and got the local brass & woodwind musical instrument shop owner (an approachable gentleman – cracking repairer!!)
When he arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, “Ah, yes, that’s Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony, being played backwards.”He listened a while longer, and said, “There’s the Eighth Symphony, and it’s backwards too. Most puzzling.” So the music shop owner (selling at some of the best prices in the country) kept listening, “There’s the Seventh… the Sixth… the Fifth…”
Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the music shop owner. He stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, “My fellow citizens, there’s nothing to worry about. It’s just Beethoven, he’s decomposing!”
The shop is open from 10.00am to 5.00pm Tuesday to Saturday, from 10.00am to 4.00pm on a Sunday and does not close for lunch. Please note that we are closed on Mondays.

11 January

‘What is the dynamic range of a bass trombone?’
On or Off!
Chesapeake Mill, this historic water mill was built from the timbers of the USS Chesapeake, the US frigate captured by HMS Shannon in the confrontation off Boston in 1813. After nearly thirteen years without a certain future after trading stopped in the early 1990s, it has been restored and used to offer a retail and wholesale outlet. Check out the web site found on the links page.

10 January

‘Why do they bury conductors 20 feet into the earth?’
Because deep down they’re nice guys!
You can find me in The Chesapeake Mill situated in the picturesque village of Wickham - Surrounded by the attractive countryside of the Meon Valley yet within easy reach of the towns of Winchester, Southampton and Portsmouth. Check out my map for more detailed directions. For all local information relating to Wickham please visit the links page and click on the Wickham Parish Council web page.

9 January

9 January – Happy New Year.
‘What’s the difference between a music shop owner and a 16 inch Pepperoni pizza?’
A 16 inch Pepperoni pizza can feed a family of four!
Welcome to HAYES MUSIC. The shop had a very successful launch weekend in November, many thanks to all of you that visited and for those of you that keep coming back. We have numerous short and long term plans so your support is very much appreciated. The day was greatly enhanced by some top-notch trad-jazz playing by some good friends of mine. I would like to thank them for donating their free time, and for so kindly ‘stealing’ my gas heater and drinking all the Stella!! It’s worth adding that the band can be hired, so get in touch for details. I would also like to thank Mark for his professionalism in setting up this web page. Not all the pages are up and running yet (still need to do some work on the instrument pages) but we are continually adding and altering this site, so don’t forget to check regularly.
Friends of Hayes Music that would like the chance to promote their band, gigs, services, or themselves on the web page and/or on the shop ‘note-tice board’ should contact me.
Don’t forget we are your Brass & Woodwind Specialists so please feel free to contact or visit us at anytime. Thank You.